A lesson in kissing the wrong boys first, for Marie Claire Real Lives The Party of a Lifetime column, December 2016. Written by Ishay Govender-Ypma

“OF course I’ve done that. I was married, remember?” Thami* said, slow American-textured drawl and the span of his shoulders on a six-foot frame filling the living room. There was an audible crackle of tension. Wide-eyed, sitting on a chair at the back of the room, I drank him in. Tupac and Dre tracks floated through the dimly lit flat and we nursed post-club 3 AM drinks, asking risqué questions and playing Truth or Dare. I hid my elation at being included in these after parties in the pockets of my hip-hugging low-riding jeans.

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